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Mar. 14th, 2006

You were his world - Quote

004 - my conversation with Johnnie

JLHBrat14: heyy johnnie, its jess
monkeyball550: hey
JLHBrat14: so like I have question for you
JLHBrat14: and I want the honest to god truth
monkeyball550: yea
JLHBrat14: ok
JLHBrat14: so like either you like her or you don't. Why do you always lead her on and you know who I'm talking about and you don't need to tell her I'm talking to you about this
monkeyball550: chrissy... i do love her... just not like that
monkeyball550: shes my best friend
monkeyball550: and i dont want to ruin that by either one of us doing something stupid in a relationship
monkeyball550: maybe later we'll go out... but as of now... im just... confused
JLHBrat14: Do you know how fucking head over heels she is for you? Either stop talking to her until you figure out what the fuck is going on or something because she doesn't just love you as her friend
monkeyball550: yeah... i know
monkeyball550: and im not going to stop talking to her because you said so just so you know
JLHBrat14: I never expected you too
JLHBrat14: She's my best friend and I've been through a lot with her. I've tried to help her get over you. I've tried to give her advice.
JLHBrat14: She said she would wait for you and if we both know her then we know she will. But tell her something other then maybe because we both know that leads her to think that you will and you don't even know if you are
monkeyball550: you dont know what the hell im going through right now alright
monkeyball550: im crying right now because im so fucking confused
JLHBrat14: dude, chill. I wasn't yelling at you or anything. And crying isn't going to solve anything
monkeyball550: yeah well it sure is helping me right now
JLHBrat14: how? It just gives you a headache and it conjests you
monkeyball550: yeah well its a way for me to express my feelings
JLHBrat14: too yourself?
JLHBrat14: *to
monkeyball550: no... i dont live alone you know
JLHBrat14: ok. So you're crying to your parents and siblings who aren't gonna be able to decide everything for you?
monkeyball550: why the hell are you even trying to help me?
monkeyball550: is it for chrissy?
monkeyball550: because all youve done as of now is make me more confused
JLHBrat14: Honey if I was trying to hell you for Chrissy do yo know where you would be right now? And do you know how many people I have helped in my 18 years of life? I really should get an award
monkeyball550: no where would i be and i'll get you that award someday just so you know
JLHBrat14: think. and you don't have too
monkeyball550: uh... chrissys house?
JLHBrat14: ding
JLHBrat14: see she would be happy, you would be semihappy, and I would be able to not have her cry
monkeyball550: ay yi yi
monkeyball550: this is why i hate having people like me when i like someone else... i dont mind it but it COMPLICATES things severly
JLHBrat14: so you like someone else
monkeyball550: yeah... megan
JLHBrat14: ?
monkeyball550: i dont care if we're broken up i still like her
JLHBrat14: Did she break up with you?
monkeyball550: yeah pretty much
JLHBrat14: And you're hoping she gets back with you?
monkeyball550: she said its possible yes
monkeyball550: chrissy knows this
JLHBrat14: but you still keep her hopes up. You say you love her but its not the same as hers then maybe you shouldn't tell her
monkeyball550: alright
monkeyball550: i wont then
JLHBrat14: just be honest with her. If you think that you and megan are going to hook back up...you need to tell her to find someone else. I've been where she is. I use to love my bff too but things just didn't work out. I had to get my heartbroken before I could move on. I don't want that to happen to her
monkeyball550: shes tried to get over me... there was dan or whoever... then he became a jackass and yeah
JLHBrat14: dan? Who the hell was dan?
monkeyball550: idk if thats his name
JLHBrat14: steve?
monkeyball550: like... she made out with him or w/e and then he got a girlfriend
JLHBrat14: that wasn't getting over you that was stalling time
JLHBrat14: and it was doug
monkeyball550: close enough
monkeyball550: they both started with d
JLHBrat14: yeah and he was an ass and she still came back to you
monkeyball550: i know
JLHBrat14: see a pattern? She dumped Steve for you too
JLHBrat14: and tommy
monkeyball550: yeah i know
monkeyball550: but... she always was a little bit late
monkeyball550: i would always have found a girlfriend by then
JLHBrat14: she waits for you...how come you can't do the same?
monkeyball550: because, as ive said before, i dont feel the same way
monkeyball550: i dont know why
monkeyball550: ive poured a lot of thinking time into it
monkeyball550: i really have but it never seems to work out for some reason
JLHBrat14: then stop telling her it might happen
JLHBrat14: It all comes back to that
monkeyball550: i already said i would
JLHBrat14: ok

Mar. 13th, 2006

You were his world - Quote

001 - At The Beginning

This is the first entry of my new journal and I have to say, I really don't know what to put. Maybe I should tell you a few things or not. But I will let you know that this journal will hold everything about me. It will hold story ideas (that I probably won't work on) and lyrics to songs I like. I'm gonna post pictures of everything, probably.

You were his world - Quote

March 2006

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